Self-Absorption or Self-Transcendence?
I notice related but distinctly different concepts floating around in our cultural ether.
These concepts directly impact how we approach our lives and make daily choices.
Some have integrated into the mainstream; you will notice them like old neighbors.
Others are more like their brilliant, reclusive cousins about whom we speak rarely, if at all.
This will be the first of a series of articles discussing them.
Self-absorption v. Self-transcendence
Generally
Obviously, self-absorbed people are self-interested.
Self-transcendent people are other-interested.
Our unconscious minds may often influence our decisions to adopt one approach or another.
We can influence that with self-awareness.
Start anywhere in recorded history, and you will find examples of self-absorption: men (almost always) who spilled gallons of blood and killed women and children over a piece of prime real estate and a brief moment of glory, as did Agamemnon in his lust for Troy.
Viktor Frankl coined the term “self-transcendence” when he published Man’s Search for Meaning just after World War II.
Frankl survived four Nazi concentration camps by adopting a self-transcendent purpose for his incarceration and, in the process, developed the theory of logotherapy. [1]
Few people in my little universe understand self-transcendence; fewer still apply it to their lives.
Let’s compare these two fundamentally different approaches to life.
Self-absorption
I, Me, Mine.
I, Me, Mine.
I, Me, Mine.
George Harrison
We can discuss the self-absorbed approach from many vantage points.
I will scatter-shoot through three common examples: (1) autocrats, (2) lawyers (because I am one), and (3) “body people.”
Autocrats
A poster child for the self-absorbed personality, Napoleon invaded Russia with 600,000 troops.
60,000 made it back to France – plus Napoleon.
Napoleon rode back in a plush carriage.
His infantry walked because, well, that’s what infantry does.
RHIP (rank has its privileges).
If we judge the consequences of self-absorption by famous autocrats, we will conclude that this approach to life may be the notorious “road to ruin.”
· After suffering a humiliating defeat at Waterloo, Napoleon ended up on the God-forsaken island of Elba.
· Hitler savored his last meal of cyanide in his bunker.
· Caesar became the guest of honor at an assassination party.
Lawyers
This part is personal.
Self-absorbed people not only bore you with excessively dominating self-talk.
They also suck up all available energy with their need to hog the spotlight of every interaction.
I used to spend hours in meetings with other lawyers.
We love to tell war stories, going on and on about our most interesting cases - interesting to us, that is.
One lawyer I know can easily turn a thirty-minute meeting into three hours with long stories about his adult children, a similar case he once had, a dissimilar case he once had, his latest fishing trip, and his wife’s hip replacement.
I heard about that woman’s hip replacement so many times I came to believe she must have at least a dozen hips.
Self-absorption may make a lawyer a lot of money[2], but it will not make him popular with anyone but himself.
And, yes, I could have made this section more succinct!
The Invasion of the Body People
My anecdotal research reveals that the self-absorbed love to share their “doctor data.”
My favorite example is a text I received out of the blue one day from an old friend:
“My body mass index is 25.3
My glucose is 12.6 mg/dl
Total cholesterol is 19.3 mg/dl”
He must have expected me to know (a) what that means and (b) whether to characterize it as good or bad without so much as an emoticon for a hint.
It saddens me to report that I am pretty sure no one cares about my triglycerides.
What is a triglyceride, anyway?
Ironically, narrowing the focus of one's life to the intricacies of how one's body operates or fails can produce unhealthy results.
Unless you hang out with people who enjoy Woody Allen movies, you may slide into lonely variations of neurosis.
Self-transcendence
What is self-transcendence?
Borrowing from Frankl, the American Psychological Association defines it as:
the state in which an individual is able to look beyond themselves [3] and adopt a larger perspective that includes concerns for others. Some psychologists maintain that self-transcendence is a central feature of a healthy individual, promoting personal growth and development. [4]
Those with a self-transcendent approach to life have a definite purpose.
That purpose focuses on the greater good, not what is suitable for themselves but for everyone, not just for corporate profits but for the planet's future.
What are the benefits of having a self-transcendent purpose in life? [5]
Physical Benefits:
1. Better Health Outcomes: Research suggests that individuals with a sense of purpose tend to engage in healthier behaviors, such as regular exercise, healthier eating habits, and better sleep patterns. These behaviors contribute to overall physical well-being and can reduce the risk of chronic diseases.
2. Longevity: Studies have shown that people with a strong sense of purpose in life tend to live longer. Having a purpose may buffer against the negative effects of stress and adversity, thereby promoting longevity and resilience.
3. Enhanced Immune Function: There is evidence to suggest that individuals with a sense of purpose have better immune function. They may exhibit lower levels of inflammation and a stronger immune response, which contributes to overall health and disease resistance.
Psychological Benefits:
1. Increased Life Satisfaction: Having a self-transcendent purpose provides individuals with a deeper sense of fulfillment and satisfaction in life. It gives meaning to daily activities and challenges, fostering a positive outlook and emotional well-being.
2. Resilience to Adversity: A strong sense of purpose can act as a buffer against stress and adversity. It provides individuals with a psychological anchor and motivation to persevere through difficult times, enhancing resilience and coping mechanisms.
3. Improved Mental Health: Research indicates that people with a purpose in life are less likely to experience depression, anxiety, and other mental health issues. Purposeful living promotes a sense of hope, optimism, and emotional stability.
4. Enhanced Cognitive Function: Some studies suggest that having a purposeful life may contribute to better cognitive function and lower risk of cognitive decline as individuals age. Engaging in meaningful activities and pursuits can stimulate the brain and support cognitive resilience.
5. Greater Social Connection: Pursuing a self-transcendent purpose often involves connecting with others and contributing to community or societal goals. This fosters social connections, a sense of belonging, and mutual support, which are crucial for mental and emotional well-being.
Overall, having a self-transcendent purpose in life not only enriches personal fulfillment and satisfaction but also promotes physical health, resilience, and positive psychological outcomes. It encourages individuals to look beyond themselves, contribute meaningfully to the world, and navigate life's challenges with a sense of purpose and resilience.
Four Takeaways
1. Only fools, lawyers, and autocrats [6] fail to see that a self-absorbed approach to life can lead to untoward consequences.
2. You can optimize the quality of your life by becoming more self-transcendent.
3. That will require self-awareness.
4. Stay vigilant!
[1] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Logotherapy
[2] By inflating billable hours.
[3] Not my grammar!
[4] My emphasis.
[5] Content supplied by ChatGPT.
[6] I acknowledge that there could be some redundancy is this grouping.