Sources of the Meaning of Life
Just when I discovered the meaning of life, they changed it.
George Carlin
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I am not sure when I started believing in luck, but I do now. Looking back, all of my moderate successes in life were, at least, partially based on luck. I’ll take credit for spotting opportunities and applying effort, but luck has been a friend to me most of my life.
When I was in law school in the late 1970’s, I lived in a townhouse community in far North Dallas. At the time, trains, rabbits, and field mice dominated what later became home sites.
We had a community pool. One day I was hanging out, catching a few rays, and I found myself in a conversation with a nice lady. She asked me what I was doing. I told her, and she told me that she was a legal secretary at a firm located in the old Preston State Bank building. She suggested that I interview for a position as an intern (or “law clerk”). I did.
I discovered an unpretentious firm of about ten excellent lawyers who lost most of the time in their own little worlds but ever vigilant about that evil spirit known as “overhead,” cared little for aesthetics. When you walked through the front door, you walked straight into a boiler room reminiscent of Glengarry Glen Ross. Offices for lawyers in various sizes lined the windowed perimeter.
The fact that the table in the conference room wobbled a little, and the carpet was ripped in places went largely unnoticed. Despite the less than impressive ambiance, I was lucky enough to meet an incredible man named Cooper Blankenship. He looked a little like Mr. Magoo but had a certain magic about him: Yoda with a hip pocket full of irresistibly bad jokes.
Cooper earned his undergrad from Harvard. He was third in his class at SMU Law School, a former judge, and a former state representative. He had the friendliest, most innocuous personality, a master of social interaction and emotional intelligence. Everyone loved Cooper.
I was luckier still that Cooper took a shine to me. We practiced law together for about 7-8 years[1], and then, true to my rebellious spirit, I launched out on my own. In hindsight, I am not sure that was the wisest decision I ever made, but I will blame it on my unconscious mind.
John Cooper Blankenship 1929-2015
Cooper and I remained friends until his death in 2015[2]. He was instrumental in helping me develop my law practice, referring clients to me for years, and mentoring me through my early days of floundering around the courthouse.
After I left “Shields, Blankenship, & Noble,” Cooper and I had lunch, and sometimes dinner, every few weeks for the remainder of his life. As much as I loved him, having a meal with Cooper was like Groundhog’s Day. He had a formulaic conversation style that was as predictable as his dark suits, white shirts, and red ties.
Every time I saw him, he went down a mental checklist that always included a report on each of his four children, his frustrations with the inability to find his “soul mate” (even though he did from time to time, but we know how those things go), and several jokes so bad Henny Youngman[3] would have winced.
Inevitably, we would address one of his favorite topics: the meaning of life. “Tom,” he would say, “I just don’t understand the meaning of life.”
I always had the same response. “Cooper, there is no intrinsic meaning of life. Life is simply life. ‘Meaning’ is a human concept. Humans assign meaning to life. We project meaning on to life.
Life does not come pre-programmed with meaning, whether we are talking about meaning with a small ‘m’ (for a particular person at a particular moment in time) or MEANING of life (for all sentient beings without regard to time or circumstances)?”
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“If our lives have meaning, it is something with which we manage to invest them, not something with which they come ready equipped.” [4]
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Is the meaning of life for an illegal immigrant willing to take serious life risks for the sake of a better life for his family the same as the old guy at the bar in the country club with his Mercedes in Valet parking? Relativism can be unavoidable sometimes.
Echoing George Carlin’s sentiments, does “meaning” change just when you figure it out?
For some reason, my opinions never satisfied Cooper because we had that same conversation over and over and over again. It was, after all, Groundhog’s Day.
One could argue that my answer begs the question. “Okay, Mr. Existentialist, if the meaning of life is a human concept, and it is up to us to assign it to, or project it on to, our lives, how do we do that? And, is a life with meaning more fulfilling than a life without? For that matter, what is ‘meaning’? Pass the Tylenol!”
I believe it was Kant who said that we can never know what the meaning of life is, but we can only live a full life by asking the question.
I’m out on a limb here, but I believe that Wittgenstein would have labeled, “what is the meaning of life?” a nonsensical question or a question for which there is no answer [5]. But, still …
Consider that life is like a lump of clay. We are sculptors of our own minds and bodies. Meaning/purposes/missions/callings help sculpt our clay.
For some people, though, it is like their meaning in life chose them.
Why did Viktor Frankl decide to become a physician at age three? By the age of sixteen he had corresponded with Sigmund Freud, published an article on the meaning of life in the International Journal of Psychoanalysis, and was already giving lectures on the topic.
Yet, throughout his gruesome journeys from one concentration camp to another during WW II, he remained an existentialist [6] who believed that we were masters of our own destinies.
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It is we ourselves who must answer the questions that life asks of us, and to these questions we can respond only by being responsible for our existence. Viktor Frankl [7]
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As a coach, I have discovered that many of my clients have trouble with the concept of what I call “meaning/purpose/mission/calling.” If you want to learn about it, where do you begin?
In my last e-book, Living from the Inside Out, I borrowed shamelessly from Professor Vic Strecher’s book: Life on Purpose. This is not just another self-help book. It’s a great book: well-written, good story line that ties the book together, chock full of interesting references, along with a practical roadmap.
Fascinated with the topic, I decided to re-read the master of all contemporary “meaning of life” books: Man’s Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl. I read this book many years ago, probably as an undergraduate. I remember it, generally, but going back through it is an incredible adventure. If you are not familiar with it, it’s about Frankl’s experience during the Holocaust.
Holocaust books are always tough because man’s inhumanity to man is such a depressing topic, but Frankl finds hope and meaning in the absolute worst of circumstances. How he does it is must reading and timely, given what’s going in Ukraine.
I believe that Man’s Search for Meaning and Frankl’s development of the theory of logotherapy are so important that I will drill down on them in a separate article.
For now, I want to address those of you who may be puzzled by the meaning of LIFE or puzzled with the meaning of your own lives.
I believe that you will discover that living a meaningless life is depressing, while living a life of meaning (contrasted with pleasure) will give you focus, dedication, and the all-important characteristic of self-transcendence. But, please don’t take my word for it (I know you won’t anyway).
Other meaning-of-life books for your consideration:
· The Power of Meaning: Finding Fulfillment in a World Obsessed by Happiness by Emily Esfahani Smith.
· The Soul’s Human Experience: Discovering Who You Are, Why You’re Here, and What Your Purpose Is by Anna Schlinghoff
· What’s It All About? Philosophy & the Meaning of Life by Julian Baggini
· HBR [Harvard Business Review] Guide to Crafting Your Purpose: Lean into your strengths, Bring meaning to your work, Make a difference by John Coleman
· The Sweet Spot: The Pleasures of Suffering and the Search for Meaning by Paul Bloom.
· The Meaning of Life: A Very Short Introduction by Terry Eagleton
· The Meaning of Life: One Man’s Journey and Discovery of life’s most important question by James P. Tarpey
· Everything Happens for a Reason: Finding the True Meaning of the Events of Our Lives by Mira Kirshenbaum
· Make Your Life Worthwhile by Emmet Fox
· The Element: How Finding Your Passion Changes Everything by Ken Robinson
· What Really Matters: 7 Lessons for Living from the Stories of the Dying by Karen M. Wyatt.
· The Meaning of Life: and other lectures on fundamental issues by Rudolf Steiner
· Finding Meaning in an Imperfect World by Iddo Landau.
· The Art of Living: The Classic Manual on Virtue, Happiness, and Effectiveness by Epictetus
· The Meaning of It All: Thoughts of a Citizen-Scientist by Richard P. Feynman.
· The Meaning of Happiness: The Quest for Freedom of the Spirit in Modern Psychology and the Wisdom of the East by Alan Watts.
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If you are unfamiliar with “the Great Courses,” [8] they are 30-minute lectures from people who are actual college professors. I should warn you that this is not Netflix and not the History Channel; it is not even Coursera. Some of the older courses are in a setting as bland as Elmer’s Glue, but, if you are looking for content and don’t worry too much about graphics, there is much here, including the following courses:
· Philosophy as a Guide to Living – 24 lectures by Professor Stephen A. Erickson.[9]
· Think Like a Stoic – 25 lectures by Professor Massimo Pigliucci.[10]
· Meaning of Life: Perspectives from the World’s Great Intellectual Traditions – 36 lectures by Professor Jay L. Garfield.[11]
· No Excuses: Existentialism and the Meaning of Life – 24 lectures by Professor Robert C. Solomon.
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I would be remiss if I didn’t mention “The Meaning of Life” by Monty Python. And, now, for something completely different!
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This reminds me of the Zen parable of the Zen master and the philosophy professor. I will paraphrase:
A renown philosophy professor went to a Zen master and asked, “What can you teach me about the meaning of life?”
The Zen master suggested that they discuss it over a cup of tea. They sat down, and the Zen master began pouring tea into the philosopher’s cup, but he didn’t stop. The philosopher said, “What are you doing? Can’t you see my cup is full?”
The Zen master replied, “That is exactly why I cannot teach you anything about the meaning of life. Come back when you have emptied your cup.”
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By suggesting all of these resources, am I just begging the question AGAIN?
What if the question is begging to be begged?
If your cup isn’t already full, who knows? You may learn something.
Cooper, you planted the seed, and, despite your enabling my permanent state of confusion, I am lucky you did.
“Out, out brief candle.” [12]
RIP, old friend.
[1] I started out in a room euphemistically called “the library,” which was more like a windowless closet.
[2] https://www.dignitymemorial.com/obituaries/dallas-tx/cooper-blankenship-6493253
[3] For those of you too young to remember the king of the corny one-liners (e.g., “Take my wife. Please.”), here is some remedial comedy history: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Henny_Youngman
[4] The Meaning of Life: A Very Short Introduction, Eagleton, at 32.
[5] For a more precise explanation, see https://reasonandmeaning.com/2015/11/13/wittgenstein-on-the-meaning-of-life/
[6] I’ll say more about existentialism in future posts. It’s a tough word to define, a catch-all in many ways. Existentialists included atheists, Christians, Marxists, and Nazis.
[7] Man’s Search for Meaning, at 156.
[8] https://www.thegreatcourses.com/
[9] Watched them all. 5 stars!
[10] Ditto!
[11] Still working on this. An excellent lecturer!
[12] Macbeth, Act 5, Scene 5.