Time for a Selfie
Instead of staring at your iPhone and photographing your physical image (without AI filtering), let’s do more of an MRI, designed to give us an image of how you are living your life.
WARNING
Reading this article may cause INTROSPECTION!
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1. What gives your life meaning?
2. What do you value?
3. What do you love?
4. What have you been curious about for a while and not found the time to pursue?
5. What are your strengths?
6. Looking back on your life, what were your best and worst decisions? Why?
7. How would you describe your relationships with friends, family, and co-workers?
8. What would you do if you had to work but knew you would not get paid?
9. How long do you expect to live?
10. How can you use that time to best serve the greater good of the world?
11. What specific goals do you intend to accomplish before you die?
12. What obstacles do you anticipate?
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In 2022, I published an e-book called “Living from the Inside Out.” It’s a free PDF download from my website, coachingwithwisdom.com, if you are interested.
At the end, I offer a shorter variation of the questions above.
Since then, I have been studying to become certified as a “life purpose coach” and continued to ponder questions like:
· What is the meaning of [my/your] life?
· How does one lead “the good life”?
· Given that our time in this life is finite, what is the best use of it?
· How do we leverage our strengths and avoid the traps for our weaknesses?
· Who are the contemporary sages to whom we should be listening?
What gives my life meaning is studying these questions and sharing what I learn.
My monthly blog usually focuses on their variations and nuances.
Since 2022, an old Japanese philosophy for optimal living called “Ikigai” has begun creeping into Western culture, along with related concepts called “Kaizen” and “Hansei.”
I have incorporated some of this philosophy into my “selfie” questions.
In time, we will discuss them in more detail.
For now, I will share my sources for the do-it-yourself self-explorers. [1]
You will note that there is little if any, “ancient wisdom”: no Bible, no Bhagavad Gita, no Upanishads, no Dhammapada, and no Koran.
There are central figures, like Frankl and Maslow, whose wisdom resonates with me.
Theories like Stoicism and Buddhism can no longer be ignored or treated as esoterica when confronting fundamental questions of human existence.
Concepts like mindfulness, meditation, framing, and cognitive distancing are now part of our collective unconscious.
If you work with me, you will notice a bias toward the concept of meaning.
I have concluded that determining the meaning of one’s life (not to be confused with the meaning of life, in general) transcends all other questions.
Until you figure that out, you will flounder and shuffle; your selfie will look like you are standing in the shade.
The question of values runs a close second to meaning.
These are both personal, subjective questions.
There is no one-size-fits-all template.
I don’t care what your religions or group affiliations teach you.
You have to figure out your values and the meaning of your life by yourself.
Neither the Pope, the Dala Lamai, Joel Osteen, nor Donald Trump can do it for you.
At the end of my list of sources is a list of books that I consider “must-reading” but defy categorization.
I call them “practical wisdom.”
Drilling Down
Meaning/Purpose/Callings
Man’s Search for Meaning by Viktor E. Frankl (1959).
The Will to Meaning: Foundations and Applications of Logotherapy by Viktor E. Frankl (1969).
A Life of Meaning: Relocating Your Center of Spiritual Gravity by James Hollis (2023).
The Meaning of Life and other lectures on fundamental issues by Rudolf Steiner (1999).
Why? The Purpose of the Universe by Philip Goff (2023).
Life on Purpose: How Living for What Matters Most Changes Everything by Victor J. Strecher (2016).
Conversations About the Meaning of Life by David Benatar, Thaddeus Metz, Jason Werbeloff, and Mark Oppenheimer (2021).
HBR Guide to Crafting Your Purpose: Lean Into Your strengths – Bring Meaning to work – Make a difference by John Coleman (2022).
On the Meaning of Life by Will Durant (2005).
The Meaning of Life: One man’s journey and discovery of life’s most important question by James P. Tarpley (self-published).
The Meaning of Life: Buddhist Perspectives on Cause and Effect by His Holiness the Dalai Lama (1991).
The Great Work of Your Life: A Guide for the Journey to Your True Calling by Stephen Cope (2012).
The Meaning of Life by The School of Life (2020).
Callings: Finding and Following an Authentic Life by Gregg Levoy (1997).
What’s It All About? Philosophy and the Meaning of Life by Julian Baggini (2004).
The Power of Meaning: Finding Fulfillment in a World Obsessed with Happiness by Emily Esfahani Smith (2017).
The Meaning of it All: Thoughts of a Citizen-Scientist by Richard P. Feynman (1998).
Finding Meaning in an Imperfect World by Iddo Landau (2017).
Quest for Meaning: Values, Ethics, and the Modern Experience by The Great Courses (Professor Robert Kane) - audio only.
Values and Passions
A Book of Values: Your Personal Guide to Meaning and Happiness by Alan Kovitz (2021).
Schwartz Theory of Basic Values https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Theory_of_basic_human_values
Values Clarification: A Practical, Action-Directed Workbook by Dr. Sidney B. Simon, Dr. Leonard W. Howe, and Dr. Howard Kirschenbaum (1972).
The Passion Test: The Effortless Path to Discovering Your True Destiny by Janet Bray Attwood and Chris Attwood (2007).
Maslow
Religions, Values, and Peak-Experiences by Abraham H. Maslow (1970).
Meet Maslow by Landon T. Smith (2017).
A Theory of Human Motivation: A Psychological Research that Helped Change the Field for Good by Abraham H. Maslow (2022).
Ikigai
Ikigai: giving every day meaning and joy by Yukari Mitsuhashi (2018).
Ikigai Kaizen and Hansei by Makoto Saito (2024).
Ikigai: The Japanese Secret to a Long and Happy Life by Hector Garcia and Francesc Miralles (2016).
My Little Ikigai Journal: A Journey into the Japanese Secret to Living a Long, Happy, Purpose-Filled Life by Amanda Kudo (2018).
Practical Wisdom
Flourish: A Visionary New Understanding of Happiness and Well-Being by Martin E.P. Seligman (2011).
Mindset: The New Psychology of Success by Carol S. Dweck (2006).
Triumphs of Experience: The Men of the Harvard Grant Study by George E. Vaillant (2012).
The Good Life: Lessons from the World’s Longest Scientific Study of Happiness by Robert Waldinger and Marc Schulz (2023).
Exploring a Way to the Good Life by Gary Cross and Cheryl Cross (2022).
On the Happy Life by Seneca (1882).
A Curious Mind: The Secret to a Bigger Life by Brian Grazer and Charles Fishman (2015).
Discover Your Genius: How to Think Like History’s Ten Most Revolutionary Minds by Michael J. Gelb (2002).
The Obstacle is the Way: The Timeless Art of Turning Trials into Triumph by Ryan Holiday (2014).
The Undefeated Mind: On the Science of Constructing an Indestructible Self by Alex Lickerman, MD (2012).
Know Thyself: The Science of Self-Awareness by Stephen M. Fleming (2021).
How to Know a Person: The Art of Seeing Others Deeply and Being Deeply Seen by David Brooks (2023).
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If this were your last selfie, what would it look like?
Smile!
[1] Call me redundant! I don’t care.